Friday, April 8, 2011

Operation Spring Cleaning: Part 3

The clothes have been gone through, the new room set up, the old music discarded, a new hair cut taken care of, some pieces for a new wardrobe discovered, and a birthday dress has begun to be made. The soul has been cleansed, a Therapy Contract signed, and A Graduation date set. The Biology class has been finished, a new type of therapy is being considered, a trip to colorado has been spent, and I feel....The same.
Maybe it's the lack of friends around me to stop the lonely throbs that soar throughout my body daily. Maybe it's the fact that it all feels external and I need that weekend of REAL cleansing and soul searching. I don't know what it is, but through the setbacks that have happened recently, the hurts, and the sadness, I don't feel pessimistic or down or like giving up, I just feel the same. It's like no matter what I do to my outside, it will never be enough to change the inside. Soooooo, Final part of the Operation. Lend me all your self-help books, give me all your candles and incense, find me a corner or a room, and get out of it. Next Friday, Saturday, and Sunday will be a cleansing weekend. Wish me luck!

1 comment:

  1. We had a nice talk about this earlier, and I still maintain that two things are happening here. One is that life isn't made of continuous happiness. More peace. You can be at peace, or NOT at peace. But HAPPINESS isn't a daily event, unless you count happiness as normal days when things go relatively well and that you have made eternal progression. Also the 2nd is... You can search for happiness and spirituality a million places, but until you really turn to God through Jesus you aren't going to find it.

    I have tons of self help books - want some?


Melodic Messages to Makae